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There Are No Stars Here

by Cicadae Sillick

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1.
the stars don't shine they never found the courage they cower from the crowds i close my eyes and find myself on desert isles the rain it whips like sunlight the tiny house where i suffocated choking on the weight of my own future sent to the factory to melt to slag and fashion it into junk to sell for scrap waiting for storms to hold me and tell me it's ok cuz it hurts sometimes (when you cry so hard) and you get fucked up (and you go to work) and you scream at night (at a house somewhere) and you stumble home (and you cut your hair) and you ask if this (is all that there is) and you stare all night (into the abyss) and you try to pretend you're happy when they ask if you're ok way down there at the bottom of the ocean i bet they're happy i bet that they're ok no problems no future and no worries just endless quiet until your bones decay i dreamt one time the jones falls was flooding but it was ok we all grew gills and fins and swam away the cities crumbled we sang in the ruins the leather seats turned into marshes and we built houses out of books so we could dance all day i stand along the riverfront wish i could fall the water feels warm on my skin pulling me down to the bottom again the waves continue regardless of anything the night is cold the sky is dim i find myself alone again the pebbles pushing into my skin like a knife do you remember when we danced along the banks the only time i ever felt alive cuz the rain falls hard (and the wind is cold) and i'm still so young (but i feel so old) and my body feels (like it's made of glass) and i've got no future (and got no past) and i ask if this (is all that there is) and i cast myself (into the abyss) and fall i fall into the end of time this is all i ever was a deadweight or a speck of dust cause this is all i ever was a deadweight or a speck or dust cause this is all i ever was a deadweight or a speck of dust cause this is all i ever was a deadweight or a speck of dust
2.
Without You 03:41
i think i've finally had enough go find another victim for your bouts of passive spite i'm insecure might just bore right through the floor but i'm happier when you're not here turning life into a fight may i advise you act all pretty but your face is made of lies this time i lost my mind and i think it's time to find another town rain is falling clouds are gone tainted light feels like a bomb but i think i'm feeling stronger after all this time i lost my mind but it ain't no good to cry just cuz it's gone sun is falling sky's a bomb winds are heavy i'm alone but i think i'm feeling stronger after all you thought i couldn't do this without you i think i've finally had enough go find another victim for your bouts of passive spite feels like a truck crushing everything i love snuff the fire that's inside me before i set myself alight it feels like everything's a chore every single word you said would start some stupid fight well fuck that noise i won't listen anymore soon you'll wish you never met me better take a fuckin hike may i advise you act all pretty but your face is made of lies this time i lost my mind and i think it's time to find another town rain is falling clouds are gone tainted light feels like a bomb but i think i'm feeling stronger after all this time i lost my mind but it ain't no good to cry just cuz it's gone sun is falling sky's a bomb winds are heavy i'm alone but i think i'm feeling stronger after all you thought i couldn't do this without you
3.
4.
Lonely 02:37
wonder why can't i find the time breathing slowly til i pass out face down laying here on the floor red eyes tired of this life of standing on sidelines i'm rotting so slowly but still tired of dying tearstrains under my eyes bags like a deadweight i wish i was blind windows covered in cobwebs spinning a web so nobody can find me just leave me laying here alone feels like i'm just a statue now no heartbeat no signs of life of standing on sidelines i'm rotting so slowly but still tired of dying tearstrains under my eyes bags like a deadweight i wish i was blind windows covered in cobwebs spinning a web so nobody can find me just leave me laying here alone
5.
X&Y 08:08
6.

about

in the suburbs, time passes without warning
the forest sings in choked gasps
all roads lead to decay
there are no stars here

CCREC-059

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this is a collection of various tracks I've recorded over the last half a year. i've spent this time fully reworking my recording process and making my first voyages into the worlds of shoegaze and emo, genres I've wanted to make for a long time but never really felt like I had the means to until recently. this isn't intended to be taken as some kind of straightforward musical statement, but moreso an chronicle of my journey down some new pathways. the last two years have been tumultuous, but they've also given me a lot of direction, and I hope you'll all stick around. even when there are no stars to light the way, there's always something brighter just past the horizon.

peace and love always,
cicadae

credits

released January 15, 2022

All guitars, bass, drums, and lead vocals recorded by Cicadae Sillick
Additional vocals on Track 1 by Amber Anim8, Jared Waldron, and Steph Walther
Tracks 1, 2, 4, and 6 written by Cicadae Sillick
Track 5 written by Coldplay with additional lyrics by Cicadae Sillick
Track 3 written by Lush
Tracks 3 and 6 recorded live at The Crown in Baltimore, MD on January 13, 2022 and mixed by Tristan Heles

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Camp Cryptid Records

Est. July 2020

Owned by Chelsea Monteiro (chelseamonteiro.bandcamp.com)

Operated by Chelsea Monteiro and Cicadae Sillick (highlycontagious.bandcamp.com)

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